day 33:

dream last night:

I was looking for an apartment to live in next year. We were in a shopping center and it was this room on a corner, and it was next to an intersection. The intersection was actually one way, and it had a huge mirror in front of it, so you could see yourself drive towards it. the room that was available was right there. It was pretty small. At first, it had 2 HUGE windows. That worried me because I didn't want people to be able to see in (it was kind of like a store front). and there was a woman ( a secretary) who sat at a desk inside, near the bathroom. Then, it became more of a garage as the dream progressed. the windows were replaced with a white ugly garage door. I really needed this place to stay next year. then i needed to talk to the owner. I was with some family. they were kind of trying to help me talk to him. he comes by and looks inside and says that the place is not for rent. it's a hotel. that really frustrates me, but he's an older guy and he's kind of intimidating. i finally say to him, because he' kind of hanging around "are there any other rooms available?" he says no. I start talking to him, really mad. finally he's not as scary and we start talking. he tells me i can have the apartment if i stay for a year. i say yes. then we are laying on the ground, and there was a baby doll inbetween us. he tells me i have to stop biting my lips. i start talking about how long the babydoll's eyelashes are. then we are at his house, and he is in a floral hawaiian shirt. we start making out. i think to myself that im going to have to tell Dustin what has happened. Then i decide i have to get out of his house, and that because i cheated on dustin with him i cannot have his apartment because it's going to make my life really complicated. i run to his garage where my car is and get inside and lock the doors. my car won't start, and i look in the back seat and there's the guy. i get out of my car and decide that i just need to run home. we are in a desert, and there are hills of red clay that is wet. i start running up the hills and the first one is easy and then i run down it and then i run up the second one and i feel so heavy. i grab onto weeds and grass. i finally realize that i have run off the road and am climbing up the side of a mountain of wet red clay. i start to let myself slide down. then i go to the road and realize that i am lost. i can go two ways, and i go the way of a paved road through a neighborhood. there are men in old baseball clothes with long red beards, they are throwing the baseball around over the road to eachother and they are wearing old hats. i run by them and it is easy and then when i get towards the end of the windey neighborhood i realize that i am starting to float. i can't run because my feet are off the ground. and i look at my shirt and it's a lavender tank top and it is puffing out like air is under it. i go up these stairs (the kind that are outside, cement with a metal rail) and realize that i am totally lost in the desert of arizona. i call my dad and tell him that i am lost and alone and that i need him to come pick me up. i tell him that ill be at this hotel that randomly appears. i try to go inside but the doors are all blocked and all that is there is an elevator. you have to have a room in order to be able to come inside. so i wait outside and there are some creapy guys out there and i feel anxious. then a few people my age come and we start doing something. i dont remember what. it was kind of like an art project. i think we were cooking. we start to do something and i realize that some of them could get into the elevator. then i wake up.